You're going to read WHAT?!

The other day at school, I asked my co-teacher how her sister was doing. (Her sister also had a lap done and they found endo) She told me how her sis went to a woman who can read the eyes. This lady said that my co-teacher's sister had a weak tube and recommended some herbs for her to take.
Now, I'll be the first to admit that this all sounds a bit wacky. However! At this point I'm up for anything. So, I call this eye-reading herb lady and ask for an appointment. It turns out that she's book. Till January. Is she really that busy? I mean how many people go to get their eyes read? Apparently more that I'm aware of!
So, anyway. The reciptionist asks if I'd like to see another woman who specializes in reflexology and has worked with infertile people before. I say yes, but ask what the difference is between her and someone who reads the eyes. The kindly reciptionist says: "Well, an irdologist reads the eyes. A reflexologist reads the feet."
WHAT? Someone's going to tell me why I can't have babies by reading my feet? Certinally you must be joking. Right? You just want to make me laugh?
Ummm....nope. I looked it up online (because that's where the brillant minds share their lifetime of research and work) and it's true. So, I scheduled an appointment. At the moment I'm looking at this as an adventure.

Now, my friends...I have a certain problem with my feet. It wasn't enough that my baby toes are smooshed. Nope, in college I had a monster of an ingrown toenail. At least, that's what they claim was the problem. (It took a month to diagnose this) I had part of my toenail removed. This solved the problem for a while...until I was soaking in our (former) hottub. After a nice, leasurely soak I got out. My toe nail FELL OFF. I'm not kidding. I wish I was.
Fast forward to the present: my toe nail has grown back; however, it's slightly deformed and a bit yucky. Well, at least I think it is. Truth is...I keep toe nail polish on it at all times. So I can fool myself (and others) that I have a normal nail.
Why am I going into all this detail? I'm well aware that you didn't need to know this disgusting intimate detail about my toe. However...I would like you to sympathize with how I felt when I found out that I'll have to show my toe to this poor, unsuspecting foot-reader who's going to magically cure my infertility.