Meeting with Dr. Delightful

This past week K and I went to see Dr. Delightful on our way home from Christmas with my momma and daddy. This was a consultation mainly to discuss the treatment plan I am on and to see if things needed to be changed. Now let me preface this by saying the following: last cycle I came off a high because I knew that my estrodial had gone up. This number influenced my thinking and made me confident that this current cycle would bring even better news.



Dr. Delightful began by stating that he was surprised my estrodial hadn't gone up sooner (before last cycle) and he is now thinking about why this is. Perhaps it is due to my endometriosis...maybe it has to do with the quality of my egg production. Perhaps I have food allergies that cause it to be low. Or, maybe we're on the right treatment plan and we just have to give things time. All the possibilities!



Needless to say, I wanted to hear that he was certain I am on the right treatment plan and that soon, maybe even this cycle, I'd get preggers. It's just a case of a whole lot of unknowns. The most reassuring news was that my estrogen is on the tail end of normal and that it is possible to get preggers on that. However, this will not be the case if one of the above factors is playing into my sub-par natural estrodial levels.



We're kinda on a 'wait-and-see' holding pattern at the moment. Dr. Delightful said that my last cycle was the first 'normal' cycle I've had and that he suspects that this current cycle will be a normal cycle as well. (Normal classifies as typical progesterone and estrodial levels, correctly timed intercourse, awesome cervical mucus, no strange bleeding...) Some of the things he recommended was to start taking a DHA supplement and to get tested for food allergies.



And the kicker? To start taking a super low dose of a drug that's taken by druggies and alcoholics when they're getting treated. Awesome. You know, I've been all for the treatments/diagnosing procedures so far. Nasty herbs? Sure, why not. Cutting open my body? I'm all for it. Sticking myself with a needle? Bring it. Drugs that screw with my hormones and cause delightful side effects? Sounds exciting! I'm really not sure about this potential new drug though. It just seems extreme. I've just gotta keep praying that the current treatment is right and what I need in order to get pregnant.



So, for now we'll wait and see what my hormone profile comes back with in a few days. I'll start taking the DHA and do the testing for food allergies. And the most important part? Pray. Pray that I don't have to take any scary drugs. Pray that I will get pregnant. Pray that K and I are meant to have a child. Pray that I'm meant to get pregnant as oppose to adoption. The bottom line? Pray.

The Tale of Two Trees

If you know me in person you might be aware of the fact that I love the Christmas season and all the traditions that come with it. One of these said traditions is to set up our Christmas tree on the weekend right after Thanksgiving. Now, this may not be a problem for most people...however, we wanted to get a 'balled' tree (i.e. one with roots so that we can plant it later). We went to the local tree farm and selected a sweet tree and brought it home with us on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.

We wrested the thing into the house (that's not an easy task my friends...that sucker was heavy!) and decorated it that same day. All was fine and dandy. Fast forward to a week later: needles began falling off. We didn't think very much of it as we suspected the heating vent by the tree was causing the bottom to get dry. Soon, however, more needles were falling off. And not just when we watered the thing! You could be sitting on the couch minding your own business and plink, plink, plink could be heard. Still we thought it could wait it out till Christmas.

Ummm...wrong! Soon we noticed that it wasn't just the bottom needles getting dried out. And? The kicker? There was mold starting to grow on the ball. Alright tree, it's time for you to move back outside. However, we had a problem seeing that it wasn't even Christmas yet! My school came to the rescue because pine trees were used in our Night Tree celebration and, lo and behold, there were extras for the taking. So K and I muscled our balled tree out the door and quickly replaced it was a cut tree. And that is how we had two trees in the same location during one Christmas season!

Thoughts

Have you ever wanted something so long and so bad that you loose sight of what it would be like if it actually happened? K and I had this discussion while driving home last night. I never imagined that the process of creating a baby would take longer than carrying a baby to term. I really, really thought it would be easier than this. Never had I thought that after much testing, a surgery, multiple Dr. visits (and doctors, mind you), hormones up the wazoo, and countless cycles we would still be trying to reach our goal of expanding who we are from a "couple" to a "family."

In fact, I'm to the point where I can't really fathom what life would be like when we do actually have a child. I can picture the joyous elation I will feel when I tell K and our families when we are pregnant...but past that? Having a life grow inside my belly? Giving birth? It just seems so far away.

Looking back, I can see that we have come a long way since we first started trying. I have learned so much about my body, my relationship with K, and my deepening relationship with God. I am stronger in knowing that this gift will truly be a gift from above and that we will be entrusted to raise our children with a sound knowledge and relationship with God. I have learned that perhaps patience is not really one of my strong suits. I have learned to cherish the small things in life: coffee in a Holiday cup (this deserves a whole post in and of itself), a hug from one of my students, K starting dinner for us. I have learned to appreciate what we have and am trying every day not to be envious of what others have.

Perhaps this is what I'm supposed to be learning, perhaps not. I can't say why God has chosen this path for me; however, I can keep my belief that I am where I am meant to be.

"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord...be strong, wait for the Lord and let your heart take courage." Psalm 27: 13-14

The Bird Watching Hat

I've recently developed an affinity for hats. Let me clarify...not just any hats, but hats one wears in cooler weather. On Black Friday I acquired one such hat. It's delightful! Made from soft, red yarn and with a little brim. I first tried it on by myself and wasn't quite sure it was 'me.' Then I showed my momma and aunt and they thought it looked cute. Sold! I purchased the sweet little hat and proudly showed it off to K. He, however, was not at all impressed. He didn't think it looked quite right.

I decided that I liked the hat and started to wear it places. One day, I wore it to school. As we were bundling up the kids to go outside, I nonchalantly put on my hat, and started zipping up kids' coats. One little girl looks up at me was a strange look on her face and starts giggling. "Mrs. W," she asks me, "why are you wearing a bird watching hat?"

A bird watching hat?! Is there really such a thing? Because if there is this girl was SO not aware that she had purchased one. I will say that my little fashionista's comment made me reconsider my hat...perhaps it really isn't all that cute? After all, who is more honest than a five year old? So I ask you, my Internet friends, yay or nay on the so-called bird watching hat?

Hormone Hope

So, it's been a while since I last posted. Like 2 months. I guess inspiration just hasn't hit me recently. However, I started this blog as a way to have a reminder of the journey we've been on TTC a baby...so I feel as if I should keep up with the updates.

Dr. Delightful has our problem narrowed down to less than stellar hormone levels; specifically progesterone and estrodial. I've gradually been adding new drugs to my regular diet of HCG in the name of Clomid and awesome estrogen patches. Now, mind you, my momma has been wearing an estrogen patch for the past number of years to combat menopause symptoms. So you can imagine how delighted I was to find out that not only do I need these but also that my mom is using the exact same drug (down to the brand name, mind you) but in a lower dosage. Awesome.

However! Taking all these drugs does cause some side effects. Not as many as I would expect, thankfully, but side effects nonetheless. The most prevalent is the hot flashes caused by the Clomid. Now, I am a cold natured person by default and can normally be found bundled up in my fuzzy pink bathrobe, slippers, and blanket when I'm at home. (I've prefaced this to give impact ;) ) I have actually found myself rolling down the window in my car in 14 degree weather to alleviate the effect of these bad boys! Thankfully they only last about 5-7 minutes...but boy, oh, boy are they wicked!

Another potential side-effect is some, ahem, increased emotions. I say potential since I am a very emotional person by nature...I'm not sure if this can fully be attributed to the wacky hormone levels. I just tend to get worked up very easily and can't really see a light at the end that will make me better...and then all of a sudden I'm back to normal. Awesome.

Last cycle I told myself that the primary goal was to increase both hormone levels, but primarily the estrodial since that was the one with the least amount of change. This was the first time I didn't have the primary goal to be to achieve pregnancy because, let's face it...until these hormones are normal it just isn't going to happen. You can imagine the delight and excitement I felt when I got a call from Cathleen (Dr. Delightful's nurse) that not only was my progesterone 'good' but that my estrodial had finally changed from a 4 to 11.9. We shall keep praying that my levels stay around the normal range and that a pregnancy is in our near future.

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears! Oh MY!

Have you noticed that I've now posted twice in as many days? This is a rare occurrence my friends. What I should be doing is doing some reading for school. But no, I shall regale you with a funny story from this evening:
On Sunday I happened upon the Kroger ad and saw that they were selling candy cheap this afternoon. This thought slipped my mind until I got in the car to make my way home from school. A Kroger ad popped on the radio and reminded me ever so kindly that there was a Sale! On Candy! So, what did I do? Yep, I made the slight detour to Kroger.
Only, when I was almost there I saw a man and a little bear walking down the road. Closer inspection revealed that this was not a real bear, but a little kid dressed up like a bear. I naively thought that this little one just couldn't get enough of his Halloween costume and wanted to wear it for a walk with his dad. Because this does make total sense if you're three.

Next I pull into the parking lot and am greeted by a princess, cat, and pumpkin. Hmmm...how strange there are more kids dressed up in costumes. I mean, we are only halfway through October!
Then I walk in the store. Oh. My. Gosh. There are parents and kids EVERYWHERE. And the kids? Yup, all of them are dressed up. For Halloween. On a Tuesday. On October 19th. Because apparently? It's trick-or-treat at Kroger.

The Kroger ad people kindly forgot to add that not only are they selling cheap candy today but also that they're doing this because they want the kids who are in there trick-or-treating to buy more! Just in case you're wondering, I did brave the under 8 crowd and fight my way to 1 bag of peanut butter cups and 2 bags of Milky Ways. :-D

Side Effects

The last time I delighted you with my update you learned that I had taken Clomid during the previous cycle. Well my friends, Dr. Delightful has upped the dose of this fantastic drug because my Estrodial was still at a 3 during my last lab work. Upping the dose means that I'm taking a full pill each day (if you remember I took half a pill the previous cycle) but it's still the lowest dose the make (50mg). Unfortunately I'm now feeling side effects that's didn't decide to reveal themselves last time around.

Well, I should start by saying that the cramps I had during my last period were pretty awful; I'm attributing that to the small dose I took last cycle. This cycle I'm getting the occasional headache (nothing too hateful) and Mood Swings accompanied by Hot Flashes. It's a fun time in this household, let me tell ya! Poor K...

Dr. Delightful's nurse (Cathleen) told me that if this doesn't up the Estrodial than I will go on an Estrodial pill next cycle. Which makes me scratch my head because if there is such a thing why don't I just take it now? We'll see where this cycle takes us...

Outside My Window

We happen to live on a highway out in the country. This means one might see corn fields, cows, tractors, and the occasional billboard. One of these said billboards happens to be right down the road from us and it's close enough that when I look out the right window I can see it.

You needed all that info for what I'm going to tell you next:
Tonight I was minding my own business cleaning up supper and happened to look out the window. I noticed the billboard and it registered that it had changed from this morning. In fact, it looked like there was a clown now on the billboard. Surely I must be mistaken, I thought to myself. What kind of company would want a clown on their billboard?

Apparently Safe Auto. This is not just any clown my friends, but a freakishly scary, insane looking clown. Because apparently? This is a HALLOWEEN billboard for Safe Auto. Do people normally equate scary clowns with auto insurance?

Now, I, like other people I know, do not really care for clowns. In fact? I think they're scary. And now there's one right outside my window. Perhaps for Thanksgiving they will put up a demonic looking turkey...
(I tried to take a picture for y'all because I realize this post is worthless without one...but I guess my camera doesn't have good zoom. Perhaps tomorrow!)

Confusion

At the beginning of this cycle I thought to myself: "Self, perhaps it's time to take a month off. Dr. Delightful said you should begin Clomid + HCG and you're having trouble getting the Clomid." Well, I ended up getting the Clomid (at good ole' Walmart) and took it on days 5-7. I was prepared to also take the HCG...but I had the oddest ovulation ever. I had stronger ovulation cramps than normal and they seemed to last several days. These were in conjunction with a BBT rise and EW cervical fluid. All signs toward ovulation, no?
At least that's what I thought. Then my good ole' body threw me for yet another loop and decided to confuse me by delighting me with more fertile-ish quality cervical mucus. I now know that this second round of stuff that I saw was not really "fertile" but it threw me for enough of a loop to not begin my HCG. I mean, in all honesty, how was I to know that I really ovulated?
And then? When I woke up this morning I felt a bit crampy and had a bit of spotting. 13 days after I think I ovulated. Which is the earliest I've ever spotted. LOL, when you look at all these factors I really think that this was God knocking me on the head saying "You really should take a month off!" Because I've never had a cycle this wonky!
We'll see what the next cycle brings...

An Adventure on the Way Home

I had quite the interesting drive home from work this evening. Let me preface this by saying that I typically take the same route to and from home every. single. day. Unless of course I'm stuck behind the random horse and buggy or errant combine. Then I detour because I like to avoid confrontation. And by confrontation I mean waiting till it's my turn to pass.

Anyway, with that being said, this affords me the lovely opportunity to recognize things about the area. Like two houses on the way have matching lighthouse sculptures in the front yard. Or that little boy who gets on the bus always waits with his daddy. And sometimes his grandpa. I've even named the dog that will sometimes chase my car in the evenings. It's Butch in case you're wondering. (What can I say, it's a long drive.) Today I notice something very unusual. Smoke! Wrapping around someones house!

Now, being the wife of a firefighter I sometimes hear messages from 911 dispatch and scoff at those people who call in bonfires as out-of-control fires. So I slowed way down to inspect what appeared to be a fire and looked to see if anyone was around. With, you know, a purposeful look on their face and a garden hose at the ready. Nope, no such luck. There was literally nobody around and orange flames were curling around the base of the house.

I stopped (thankfully so did other motorists) and ran toward the fire. This was quite the surreal experience for me because nothing like this had ever happened before. I mean here I am with my car pulled over on the side of the road, getting out of my car, and running towards a stranger's house that happens to be on fire. By the time I got out of the car, some neighbors came out of their houses and came running. Someone called the fire department and other people began using rakes and shovels to beat the fire out. I started to help by grabbing a shovel but other people were able to get it out.

After I left (the fire appeared to be out...but the cause was unknown) I passed the fire department on their way to help. I'm curious to see if there was any more damage to this humble abode when I go into work in the morning! I was happy to see that no one was hurt and that it looks like everything was properly contained.

And yeah, as an aside...I totally realize that the color of some of the font on this blog is totally impossible to read. But, unfortunately, I can't for the life of me figure out where the option to change the font color is. So, if you can help I would be very appreciative!

Bits and Pieces

I don't think I have enough in me to write a post on just one subject so today I'm just going to include bits and pieces of things that have been happening in my life:

Dr. Delightful has changed my plan a bit to now include Clomid. The reasoning behind this is to increase the amount of estrogen. Apparently my progesterone is doing just dandy but estrogen is still 'poor'. I've never heard of Clomid being used to increase estrogen but, then again, I'm also not a Dr.! I'm taking 25mg which, if you follow these type of things, you'll realize is smaller than the smallest dosage they make. This means I had to take half a pill. Tee he he. So I guess you could say the risk of multiples is pretty slim!

My poor toe nail met its ultimate demise on the play ground this week. Some poor, unsuspecting child stepped on said toe. Hard. It bled. It hurt. And later that night? It came off. Gross, I know. But you need to know that in order to get a giggle out of this:
I've sat down to read a story to the children after the above incident occurred. One little girl looked at my toe for a bit and then looked up at me and said: "Umm...Mrs. W? I think you have a problem..." Yes, indeed I did have a problem for my toe was bleeding!

My new phone lists all my contacts in one section. By all my contacts I mean both phone and e-mail. This can make things rather confusing because some contacts are listed under the same listing in both places. It has, however, caused me to go through my e-mail addy book and delete people to whom I haven't talked in oh, ten years.

I'm getting super excited that the weather is changing. Why? Because it means all things fall! Mums! Pumpkins! Colored Leaves! Hot Apple Cider! Pumpkin Spice Cappachino! Candy Corn? Typically I buy a bag each year of the sugary stuff but for some reason this year it just doesn't sound good. I've even gone so far as to pick up a bag in the store and put it in my shopping cart. Then I decide I don't really want it. Weird. Now, Halloween Oreo's and Reece's peanut butter cups....

The Gigantic Learning Curve

So...last weekend my fam and I got new phones. I like to think I'm technologically advanced but, you know what? I'm really not. I've never (I repeat never) sent a text message in all my life. I'm perfectly content with a basic, run of the mill cell. You know what my friends? They don't make run of the mill phones anymore. No, no...you must get a fancy-use-your-finger-to-make-the-phone-work-phone. Or, at least you do if you are my father (love ya daddy!).

Yes my friends, I am now the proud owner of a touch screen phone. And let me tell you, there was a gigantic learning curve for this girl! I'm still finding out new things and I've had it for four days now. Like, did you know you can call *611 to get in touch with Verizon? Helpful information if you, like me, forgot your voicemail password and after trying nine unsuccessful passwords needed to dial for help. Or, if you get lost coming home from the mall and need to use Google maps to determine where in the world you are (in my defence, I have not lived in that area for six years!!).

I'm still getting used to the idea of constantly having access to the web. And by this I mean, I check my e-mail every time I see the little light blinking on the phone. That's not to say I'm going to respond right away because um....I haven't got that far yet!

Road Trip!

Each year K and I try to go on a vacation. Now, this vacation might just be a few days, but it's still away to get away from work (in K's case) or the house in general. This year we had been pretty set on just driving a couple hours to get to Cincinnati and exploring the city. However! K's co-worker had recently taken a trip to Nashville, TN and bragged it up big time. K was in awe of the cool sounding bars and general country atmosphere. So we threw the plans for Cinci in the trash and decided to venture to Nashville instead.

A few days before we left, we changed our plans a little bit more and decided that, while the city would be our main goal, we also wanted to do some general exploring. On the way down we stopped at a rest stop outside of Louisville, KY and found some super cool looking brochures for places in KY. One of which was the Jim Beam distillery. We plugged its address in the GPS and guess what? It was about 5 mins away from our rest stop! How cool was that? So we went there and also a really cool cave, The Lost River cave. You could literally take a pontoon boat ride through this cave. And the neatest part? Back in the 20's the enterance to the cave was actually a night club. People had put in a bar, hung a large chandalier, and put in a concrete floor. They said now this place is not only used for tours, but also parties and weddings. Super awesome.

After arriving in Nashville, we decided to take a dinner cruise and then make our way to the Jack Daniels distillery in Linchburg, TN. I must say, that distillery's tour was free and awesome. Totally worth the drive. The dinner cruise was eh....a bit hokey but worth the experience. I must say however, we were shocked at the price of the drinks on board the boat. It was probably the most expensive beer Ken has ever had and for me, the most priciest bottle of water ever!

On our way home we stopped at Mammoth Cave for a 2 hr cave tour and then found the coolest little park. This park had a really big slide down a huge hill, a chair lift, bumper boats, horse rides, etc. Ken tried out the slide while I rode the chair lift. Pretty cool!

The Delightful Place (a.k.a. Walgreen's Pharmacy)

As wrote in my last post, my previous cycle was not successful. Obviously, this meant I needed to reorder my HCG. And this, my friends, was not something I was looking forward to! I had done a bit of research and discovered that it appeared that the Walgreen's pharmacy had my meds for significantly less than the other place did. But I learned my lesson folks: don't take anything for granted! Especially fertility drugs!
So I did what any sane person wanting to save money would do: called Walgreen's! And yes, they had my drugs for Less Than Half of what I paid for the last round. You can imagine the shock I felt when I heard this. Now, mind you, this is not with help from insurance. But heck, I would rather pay more than go through the trials and tribulations of using their "speciality pharmacy" and discovering in the end that they wouldn't have paid for it anyway.
I had my friendly nurse call in the script and soon Walgreen's called to set up my order. I got it two days later. Upon opening the package I discovered the following:

• The Dr. placed a refill on the script! Yay, no more calling the Dr. to get him to call in my order!
• Paperwork describing how to take the drug, why some people take it, and possible side effects (Note: This was not included in the last order and I fruitlessly looked up HCG online. And discovered that the majority of the online world is taking it for weight loss. Not helpful!)
• Small shots! TEN of them! And they're already assembled! Woot!

Just as my Dr. has earned the term Dr. Delightful, in my book, the Walgreen's Pharmacy has earned the term: The Delightful Place.

How do you open this?!?!

I will preface this post by informing you that I'm not pregnant this cycle. You'll need to know this so you won't think bad of me for what I'm going to tell you next!

Alright, so yesterday was a hard day because well, I found out that this cycle was indeed not the cycle we had been waiting for. However! One must look on the bright side and relish in all of the things that can't be done if one is pregnant. Such as drink caffeine and sip yummy wine. So, that's what I did today. I stopped by the good ole' MacDo and picked up a caramel frappe (I highly recommend...especially if you have sworn off caffeine for the past 4 weeks).

And that brings us to tonight. We've had a bottle of wine in the fridge that had been waiting for such an occasion. So, what better night to open it than tonight? Except the little peely strip meant to get the foil off the top would.not.come.off. I picked. I peeled. I picked some more. And then I said, heck with it! And went to get our Houdini bottle opener. I went through all the proper steps, but instead of hearing the reassuring "pop!" of the cork I hear.....nothing. Hmmm. That's odd. And then I try again. Nuthin'.

Upon further investigation I realize that oh no, there's not a cork. It's a SCREW ON CAP. Of course the bottle opener wouldn't work on a screw on cap! (As I tell this story to K his reaction was: "Oh honey, you've been away from the booze too long!")

One would presume that once I realized how my bottle of wine was capped I would be able to open said bottle, right? Ummmm....think again! I twisted. I turned. I tried to pick the foil cap off. I twisted some more. After about 5 minutes (no joke) I was finally able to get the cap off.

Jeesh, it was a lot of work for one glass of wine! But it was worth it.

"I'm sorry you're not feeling icky"

Two shots down and two to go my friends! I've officially reached the half-way point of this regimen. (Only, really I'm kinda like more than half-way because I get my third shot today.) I've learned a couple things in the past few days:

• Needle size: smaller is better. My delightful pharmacy messed up (now, is that really a surprise to anyone?) and gave me five 22 1/2 gage (BIG) and two 30 1/2 gage (small) needles. It's somewhat difficult and, perhaps, unsanitary to use the small needles for all four shots. So, we used one small needle for the first shot and the big needles for the second and third shot. And the last shot? Oh, well I plan on using the small needle for that. You know, so I have something to look forward to.

• I don't seem to have much body fat on the top of my thigh. That came as a true surprise to me...when I went to pinch the area I didn't have much to pinch. Upon further study I realized that my fat on my thigh resides on the inner most portion. Good to know.

• It's important to STAY AWAY from the phlebotomy student when getting bloodwork done. (oh, did you know Dr. Delightful wants to monitor my hormone levels? This constitutes more bloodwork.) You know, I had my doubts about the resident phlebotomy student when she didn't know how to work the copier. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she didn't go to school to learn how to use a copier. Oh, bad mistake my friend, bad mistake. We'll just say that after a lot of rooting around in my vein...the syringe was pulled out and put back in by a more experienced person. Phlebotomy students words to me: "I'm just really glad I found the vein!" (Ummm, yeah...but your job is to get blood OUT of said vein...)

• HCG, so far, hasn't given me any side effects. The literature I got about the drug said possible side effects were nausea and tender breasts. I've got nothing, nada. I told K I was kinda sad I didn't have any effects because I didn't know if the absence of said effects meant the drug wasn't working. His response? "I'm sorry you're not feeling icky." LOL, after he said that I realized just how silly I sounded!

One shot down...

Tonight was the night of my first HCG shot. Thought I ovulated on Friday and that would put today as the first shot day. However, there are two reason why I fear that I made a mistake....1st my temp went down just a touch this morning. It wasn't enought to really make me concerned because it was literally two tenths of a degree. Plus I was up in the night and took the temp later than normal. All reasons for it to be a bit skewed. 2nd: after we did the shot I had a small amount of eggwhite cervial fluid. That's after two totally dry days. Way to go body, way to go. I really, really hope things aren't all messed up...

The plus side of this whole experience is that administering the shot wasn't all that bad. I prepared everything and K was the one who stuck me. I was anticipating much, much worse.

Thoroughly Confused

You know what? I'm stumped. I'm confused. I'm perplexed. I'm baffled. I did get my meds today (thankfully); HOWEVER, they are the meds my insurance liaison told me would be covered by my insurance. But the pharmacy told me they won't be covered. Does this make sense to anyone else?
I should be happy, right? I mean I have the drugs. Hopefully they won't make any more potential babies get flushed with my next period. But you know what? I'm a bit angry. First of all...according to Dr. Delightful I pretty much need these meds in order to even carry a baby. Right? Otherwise (like last cycle) aren't I just having a really, really early miscarriage? When you look at it this way (and obviously I do) then isn't this just the first of many things I may need when I'm pregnant?
Second of all, the many, many hoops I jumped though since last Wednesday to get these drugs would be enough to keep Shamu happy for the rest of his life. I really thought that I must be going crazy when the pharm called me on Sat and told me they weren't covered. (Literally, I almost lost it at Menards. Poor K...he was going to buy a new blade for his saw when we got the call. He just bought the $500 worth of lumber instead. Nope not bitter ;) )
Here's what I thought had happened. When I first started this escapade Walmart told me I needed Novarel. So, logically, that's what I told the insurance liaison I needed. And that's what she told me was covered by insurance. Now, this was a bit confusing to me because my script read: HCG. So, when the pharmacy called Sat and told me that HCG was not covered under my insurance I thought Walmart must have got it all wrong. I even asked said pharmacy, "What I'm getting is HCG, right?" To which they replied "Yep."
Except............................I'm holding a box that reads NOVAREL in really big letters. Do you understand my confusion? So, off I went to make a call to my trusted insurance liaison. By the way, I think it's time I gave you her name: Lois. I really didn't think I would have to take the time to type it out here, but honestly? I think I've talked with her more in the past week than I have some of my friends. As I type, she's making some calls because guess what? She's confused too.

ETA: I got a call back from Lois and she informed me that the insurance thinks I'm getting the Novarel for infertility. Well, um...hum. You know what this made me aware of? That I don't think of myself as 'infertile' anymore. Just someone who needs a bit of help maintaining a pregnancy. I explained this to her and she recommended that I have Dr. Delightful call the insurance on my behalf. Quite frankly, I'm done with this drama for this cycle. We'll cross that bridge if it comes.

False Alarm

Remember how, in my last post, I said insurance would cover meds? Whoops, my bad. They won't.

You know, I had a feeling in the beginning that they wouldn't cover them. It makes sense; they won't cover infertility treatments...why on earth would they cover meds? I'm not happy about it by any means, but I might not be quite as livid if I hadn't gone through all the hoops to try to get it covered. Hopefully they will be delivered to me tomorrow and we can be finished with all this drama.

A girl can hope, right??

Jumping Through Hoops

Interesting developments on my attempts to enact our plan...wanna hear? Here it goes:

Alright, so Dr. Delightful kindly forgot to tell me just how frickin difficult it would be to get my Rx filled. I received the Rx script in the mail on Monday and took it to Walmart to get filled on Wednesday. Walmart told me they would have to send away for it but that I could pick it up after 4:00 on Thursday. So, I leave Walmart and go about my merry way.

30 mins later my phone rings. It's Walmart. They have to use a 'special pharmacy' and called my insurance to make sure it was approved. Insurance said, well does she have her shiny new purple card? To that I replied WTF? Ummm....I didn't change insurances? Why do I need a new card? At this point I get thoroughly confused (and still am for that matter), but Walmart tells me they'll call other pharms to see if they carry the medicine.

In the meantime, I call my director and ask if insurance has changed...to which she replied 'no.' She called our insurance liaison and inquired further. After getting off the phone with her, Walmart calls back and tells me that Kroger carries the magic drug.

Can you tell how convoluted this is becoming? Yeah...if it's complicated reading it imagine how crazy it was living it! Anyway, I'm going to make a long story short....after doing some calling around, I discover that my insurance will cover the drug if I go through the 'special pharmacy.' So, I call the special pharm, only to be informed that although they contract through my insurance, they contract through another company for fertility meds. Seriously?

All in all, I had to get Dr. (Not So)Delightful to fax a new script to the fertility meds place and then call the fertility place myself to get everything confirmed. I should be expecting my meds to be delivered to me on Monday between 8am and 3 pm. You can rest assured that I WILL NOT leave the house between these hours so that I can sign for these magical drugs.

The moral of this (very confusing) post? I'm truly thankful that I have the worlds longest pre- ovulatory phase and that I don't need the meds today!

Mystery Mail

A few months ago K receives this bright pink envelope in the mail. Upon opening we discover that two people will be getting married on August 28th. Now, this is a rather common event, no? I would agree; however! It took him literally a half hour and a call to his brother to figure out just who these two people were. There was no name, heck, it even took us a while to figure out where this delightfully mysterious 'save the date' magnet came from.
My thoughts about this? Well, first I was a bit taken aback that my husband is receiving a pink envelope in the mail. Because, mind you, my name was not on said envelope. And then? I was a bit curious why, oh why, a girl he has not seen FOR 8 YEARS is inviting him to her wedding. Slightly strange.
Fast forward to the present. K receives yet another questionable envelope in the mail today. This one has perky pink and black dots all over it. Again, with no name of the return address. However! This time I am on top of things. I just knew that it was from the mystery couple. Yet again my name was not on said envelope. I surely thought this was an oversight on the bride's part. I mean really? K and I have been married for TWO years. Surely my will be on the fancy inside envelope.....right?





NOPE. It was addressed to K and Guest. Seriously? Seriously. I mean COME ON. If you don't know someone well enough to know they have been married for TWO YEARS, why on earth are you inviting them to your wedding? I just do not get it. (Can you tell I am highly offended?) This just screams that either
A.) you are starving for attention
B.) you want to show off how far you have come since high school
c.) you want gifts

The best part will come when I get to send the RSVP back. I am going to make it very clear to write Mr. and MRS. K and then put my address label in the return spot. Perhaps it will make this chick stop and think for a minute!

We have a plan!

As you may remember, Dr. Delightful wanted me to get hormone testing done on various days after I ovulated in order to show what my hormone levels are during my lutal phase. I finished up with that last week and had a phone consult with him today to go over my test results.
Here they are:
Ovulation + 3 days: Progesterone - 6.7 Estrogen - 6.9
Ovulation + 5 days: Progesterone - 12.0 Estrogen - 5.3
Ovulation + 7 days: Progesterone - 14.7 Estrogen - 3
Ovulation + 9 days: Progesterone - 20.9 Estrogen - 3
Ovulation + 11 days: Progesterone - 11.5 Estrogen - 7.8

Dr. Delightful explained that my levels are lower than normal; but, that being said it looked like I had a viable conception. However, due to that lower than normal levels I wasn't able to sustain it. Can you believe that folks?
So, as a way to manage this, Dr. Delightful has created a plan for us. A plan! Yippie! And the thought that part of this plan means shooting myself a couple times for a week doesn't phase me in the least. Okay, well maybe it does a little bit. But hey, bring it on folks!
The plan will be to take HCG shots on days 3, 5, 7, 9 after ovulation. This will help boost my progesterone and estrogen and get rid of abnormal bleeding at the tail end of my period. It will also make my ovulation earlier in the cycle (whoot!!!) but probably will make my cycle longer. Dr. Delightful has warned not to take a pregnancy test until at least 7 days after the last shot, as the shot can make the test read positive. I will also be getting blood work done on days 5, 7, and 9 after ovulation to see how this is working.
We'll give this treatment plan 3 cycles to work and then move on to Clomid or Femera if needed. However, Dr Delightful said it looked like I was ovulating normally according to my chart. Remember how I said he didn't like how my laparoscopy was done? Well, that's not a worry at the moment and he said we'll give it a year and if I haven't conceived by then we might consider another lap. Thank goodness!
All in all, I feel really good about this plan. Well, quite frankly, I feel good to have any plan at all! But really, I'm going to be praying really hard that this is the answer K and I have been waiting for.
So....who knows how to give shots? Anyone??????

Falling apart piece by piece...

No, I'm not speaking about the emotional trials and tribulations of infertility....we'll talk about that at a later date, maybe. Nope, I'm talking about falling apart physically. LOL, so one could say that it all started with my toe. But, I'm not going to because I'm in denial that I actually need to get it looked at by someone other than my Foot Lady. She swears that a beautiful new nail will start to grow in soon. (I'm choosing to believe her because that's a lot more fun than going to a Dr. who would want to take it off...ewww)
So it all started last week with my blood draws. (Oh, and BTW I finally ovulated last Sunday, whoot!) My inner elbows look like a scene from a horror movie, but are slowly getting better. It didn't help that the veins in my left arm cowered in fear from the needles and that most of the blood had to come from my right arm. Ouch! The positive side? I'm done with all that (for now).
Last week I went to school to clean and was stepping up on a child-sized chair to reach a high shelf. Apparently my inner klutz has began to make an appearance, because guess what happened? I fell off the chair. And landed with my leg jamming down on the back of the chair. Ouch! I was left with a red mark about 3 inches in diameter that later turned into a lovely looking purple/blue bruise.
And then? This week I was walking up on our deck and tripped over a step. I went to catch myself with my hand and my engagement ring was turned to the side and dug into my baby finger. Ouch! My baby finger immediately started to swell, bleed, and bruise. It still looks awful and this happened two days ago.
Oh, and my back hurts. And has for three days. Garumph.
So, the moral of this blog? To let you all know that if you see my walking slow, holding on to thing for support, or generally looking stupid, it's so that I can avoid further bodily injury to myself!

Wow, look at that Barn!

As promised, here are some of the before and after pictures of our freshly painted barn. Somehow we were able to get this honkin' structure painted in 2 days. (Yes, you read that right, TWO days) How we accomplished this I may never fully comprehend. I'll just say that when that husband of mine has his mind set on something he doesn't do anything but work towards that goal. Well, and the fact that we had the use of that gigantic lift and a paint sprayer!

Look at this thing!

Do you see this large machine? It's crazy big, right? Imagine my horror when I realized I would have to operate it. Yes my friends you read that right. K expected me to operate this heavy duty, construction site worthy piece of equipment.

Here's the back story. Our barn? Yeah, it looked like it was falling apart due to the lack of paint. So, K decided this was the year we would side the barn. But, that didn't happen because low and behold his dad knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a guy (you get the point, right??) who was in the painting business and died. Well, you can imagine that being in the painting business would leave your relatives beaucoup de painting supplies upon your demise. So, this lovely painter man's widow sold some barn paint to us at cost. Yippie (No, really, I was happy because painting is a whole heck of a lot cheaper than siding this monstrosity we like to call our barn).

So, anyway....yesterday K calls me and says that he is able to borrow a lift from somebody. He asks if I mind and casually mentions that he might need my help to raise and lower him as he paints. Mind you, this lift? Yes, totally not what I pictured when he mentioned that he would need my help! I'm thinking something that is smaller and requires one to push a button. Not something that has monster-truck wheels, a cab and a warning that declares you must be able to handle heavy machinery in order to operate it. I mean look! The thing leaves ruts in the ground! Me? I'm a teacher. I read books. I work in the garden. I shop for crying out loud! I don't operate heavy machinery!

However....I was committed to getting this barn painting. And we only have the lift until tomorrow. So...........I drove it! Almost had a conniption while doing it, but by golly I was able to get that husband of mine up in the air so that he could blast our dilapidated barn with a nice fresh coat of bright white paint.

Next post I will enthrall you with before and after pics of the barn (well, I'll try but I'm not able to get the hang of the photo placement yet)

The newest vehicle to our fleet

I had said that I wanted a new car before the end of the year, so K and I recently started car shopping. I was driving a '98 Cavalier, named Betsy, and, while she is an excellent car, I was ready for something newer (read: 4 doors, remote entry, power windows...etc.). Here's where the eternal debate with myself kicked in. Did I want another car? Or shall I upgrade to an SUV? Both have their merits:

Car: Good fuel mileage, smaller (i.e. easier for me to handle), trunk to haul things

SUV: more capacity for larger things, easier to get things/people in and out

I test drove countless vehicles and basically had my choices narrowed down between a Chevy Equinox and a Ford Fusion. After some internal debate the car won because of the excellent fuel mileage. I also thought that, really, when it boils down we'll be able to get kids/stuff in and out of a car just as easily as an SUV. Also, I didn't want an SUV and be stuck with a big honkin' thing if we aren't able to produce little baby W's.

I must say that I am very happy with my choice! The only problem is I'm not sure what to name her yet. She seems to have somewhat of an elegant persona...perhaps Bella??

Happy Father's Day

Here's a disclaimer for you: I didn't feel strong enough to go to church on Mother's Day. Don't get me wrong, I love my momma and wanted to celebrate her (which we did by visiting with momma and daddy)...but I just didn't want to sit through a church service and risk getting all emotional over the fact that we still weren't pregnant. So, we didn't go.

Alright, so it's Father's Day. I woke up this morning ready to go to church and we even left the house extra early because we thought that there would be more people than normal. Apparently I didn't realize how hard it would be to sit through a Father's Day service either! I really don't know what I was thinking - I hadn't even mentally prepared myself for the potential hardness of listening to Father talk and wishing that K would be able to officially call himself a father. As it was I barely made it through the message without crying but then lost it during the song that followed. Sigh. K was having the same feelings and we both had to sneak out to the basement until we got it together.
Then we just stood in the back of the church till K was able to take communion. Then we left. The saving grace of this whole situation was seeing what I assume (and you know what happens when you assume, but whatever) were two other couples that seemed to be struggling. One even left before we did and I could tell the woman was crying. Although I hate to think of anyone else going through this it does help to know we're not alone.

In other related news...I think I willed myself to ovulate last night. LOL. I woke up this morning with a slightly higher temp and feeling a bit bloated. Literally, I lied in bed and pictured myself ovulating. (Which is very hard to do...what does it even look like to ovulate??) Now, this might be a bit skewed because I definitely had cervical quality fluid and perhaps was going to ovulate anyway. But, I'm going for the whole mind over matter thing at the moment. I'm really praying for a definite mark in ovulation/peak day fluid so that I can for sure get my blood work done on the right day.

Next post will be more lively with pics of my new (to me) car!

Dr. Delightful

So here's the second installment of our new approach to getting pregnant. Last week I saw a new Dr. (we shall here-on call him Dr. Delightful) on recommendation from my Creighton nurse. He specializes in helping figure out what exactly is wrong rather than just moving along to IUI/IVF. I was first pleased with his bio on the website (www.neob.net Oh, and his name is Dr. Parker if you're interested. Although, he might get a kick out of calling him Dr. Delighful.). It really seemed as if his beliefs and practice matched the path we want to take.
Anyway...when I met with him he first took a comprehensive inventory of all my stats (i.e. lifestyle, medical history, etc.) and then reviewed my records from other Dr.s with me. He looked several times at the summary of my laparoscopy and explained that he would have taken out the endo using another method. One, he feels, is better. Sigh. This was a bit frustrating to hear because, duh, I hoped it was taken out the right way the first time!
Then he reviewed Creighton chart I've been keeping. He pointed out that I had abnormal cervical mucus during the lutal phase (time after ovulation and before my period) and that this could point to a hormonal imbalance of some sort. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Remember what Foot Lady said about hormones? I'll have you know that I did not tell him what Foot Lady said...however, both of their diagnoses seem to mesh.
The next step then is to get blood work done days 3, 5, 7, 9, and 11 after ovulation. This will show what my hormones are like in the lutal phase and help us be on the way to conceiving. Most likely if I have an imbalance it would be because of a low progesterone level which can simply be solved by taking progesterone. So, we'll see! If that's the case (and who really knows if it is at this point) than think how much easier (and cheaper I might add) it would be to take that than go through an IUI + Clomid.
That's where we are now...waiting till I ovulate. And, surprise surprise, it's taking me a long time again to get there! We're now on CD20 and just now getting cervical mucus of fertile quality and quantity. I tell ya, it seems like the smallest amount of stress (we just bought a new car, more on that later) seems to affect my ovulation. Quite annoying my friends, quite annoying! However, both K and I are pleased with the current treatment/plan we have. It's nice to know that we're actually doing something and have people that mesh with our current beliefs.
Oh, and, if you checked out that website you might notice that Dr. Delightful's office is in Gahanna. That's near Columbus. 2 hours away from us. However, Dr. Delightful is perfectly okay with getting blood work done around here and then phone/Internet conferencing when the results are in. And that, my friends, is another reason why he earned the name Dr. Delightful!

The Foot Lady (aka I did Reflexology)

It's been a while since I've last posted and some things have changed in regards to my treatment. I visited the reflexologist (aka Foot Lady) last Tuesday and was a combination of totally weired out and awestruck by the experience. It's hard to describe what exactly happened because the experience was just SO different than anything I've ever done. Ever. Anyway, throughout the session she would place one hand on various parts of my body and the other hand on my arm. As she touched these areas she would try to push down on my arm while I was trying to push up. If she was able to make my arm go down than that indicated my body was weak in that area. (This was totally odd...she was able to do this even though I swear that I was always trying to hold my arm up. WEIRD!)
Since she knew my story she mainly checked the reproductive organs and hormones in order to figure out where I needed work. She determined from these little experiments that my organs were functioning properly and it was my hormones that needed attention. Then she went to my feet and started rubbing them. She wasn't grossed out at all by the toe and explained that an herb she was going to give me would serve the dual purpose of helping my hormones as well as my toe. If that would happen that would make it the magic herb! The only problem...I forget which herb it is. I have three. Shoot.
Anyway, back to my feet...Foot Lady explained that there are nerve endings in the feet. As she rubbed she asked questions, such as "Do you like sugar?" HA! Do I like sugar. Is the grass green? When I answered yes she explained that my body didn't like it because she could feel the nerve ending of the pancreas? liver? Ugh, I wish I would have videotaped/recorded/took notes! Thankfully I'm going back next week and can ask her to clarify and answer my questions. In the meantime, I'm taking my (disgusting) herbs, rubbing my ovaries (via my feet) and cutting back on sugar.
On the next post I shall update you about my new doctor and the latest of tests I will have!

Blarg on the insurance company

In December (mind you we're talking 2009 - roughly 6 months ago) I had my laparoscopy done. Going into this procedure we were like 99% percent sure that insurance would not cover it because I don't have infertility coverage. However! They found endo and, therefore, insurance would now magically pick this up.
I got the bills I had to pay to meet the deductible in what I thought was a reasonable amount of time and thought I was done with all of that. Until April. Then, I got this claim from insurance telling me that they wouldn't pick up the anesthesia bill. Alright, whatever. Like most people would do at this point I start watching the mail expecting a bill for an obnoxiously high amount of money come to me. And I wait, and wait, and wait.
It's now June and I still haven't gotten the bill. Six months later! How incredibly ridiculous is that? I called this morning because I would really like to pay this and get it over with (that, and I'm looking to buy another car and would like to have all this settled before I stick a down payment on a car/SUV!). Mind you, I don't know who to call (BECAUSE I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A BILL) and, after getting the runaround, talk to a semi-knowledgeable lady. She explains that since my insurance denied it the first time they thought they would try again. Then, probably because she realizes that it's been 6 months, says she would call the insurance and see what's going on. She tells me that she'll try to have a bill/paperwork in the mail to me by the end of the week.
Now, I realize that my insurance didn't want to pick it up (remember, I wasn't even expecting them to in the first place) and that they want them to pay it. However! Some kind of communication between said parties and myself would have been nice. I would really like to get that stuff paid for soon!

In other news, I have an appointment at a new Dr. on Friday. As I'm sure you can imagine since this is my 4th Dr in a year, I have records of testing at many different locations. I really, really want this new Dr. to see said testing results (why start over, right?) and requested that my records get sent to him. I called new Dr. office on Friday and, as of then, they hadn't gotten any of my records yet. Garumph. So, obviously I called current Dr.'s and asked about this. One office said, yes, we got your fax but since you didn't put when you wanted them by we hadn't sent them yet. Seriously? Is it that hard? Anyway they said they'd get them in the mail (hopefully) today.

Lightning, rain, and wind...Oh My!

Over the past several days we have had some wicked storms filled with lightning, rain, and wind. My friends, I am irrationally scared of storms that are filled with lightning, rain, and wind. Particularly the wind part. Why? Because I'm convinced that a tornado will beeline right towards me and blow my house to smithereens.
I'm convinced this fear manifested itself when my parents were in the process of building the house they currently live in. We had just cleared the land (which is in the middle of a woods) and left the area for the weekend. When we came back, we checked on the land and right where the house would be like five trees had fallen and/or been uprooted. They would have landed on the house! Scary!
So, I give you this background as a frame of reference for something that happened last night. As you may know, a line of super spooky storms made their way across the state late last night. In fact, we were under a tornado watch for about six hours. Quite frankly, I thought people were overreacting...I mean, a tornado watch for six hours? That's crazy! Anyway, K and I went to bed and everything was fine. Until 3:30 AM. I was awoken by a strong gust of wind and saw lots of lightning. Panic mode sets in!
I get up, close all the windows and turn off the power strip for the TV. (My family has had crazy bad luck with electronics and lightning...better to be safe than sorry!) And then I remember the tornado watch. At this point I'm convinced that K and I will have to go down to our creepy basement and bunker down. Unfortunately, K's in a dead sleep and is. not. budging.
I do the next best (rational) thing. LOL, I pack up my laptop in it's little bag and set it by the steps to the basement. Why? Because out of all my worldly possessions in the house this was the one thing I would be saddened beyond all doubt if it got blown away. And then? (Seriously, I DO realize how crazy this sounds) I rooted through my purse and got the other important stuff. You're probably thinking my driver's license...credit cards, stuff like that, right? Yeah, no. I got my broadband card and my USB memory drives. And then? I took them to the bedroom, crawled into bed...and fell asleep clutching them in my hands. Hey, it was 3:30 AM!

P.S. On another (clearly lucid) occasion when we first bought the house I was home alone and we had a tornado warning. I was (again) convinced that I would blow away atop this windy hill and that we would have to prove to the insurance company that we really owned what we owned. So I took digital pictures of everything (mind you, this was in the middle of a storm) so we would have proof. These pics were the ones on the USB memory stick that I fell asleep clutching last night. And yes, I'm aware that I'm slightly crazy (if not a bit paranoid).

Blog Identity Crisis

So...I apparently have commitment issues. "Hi, my name is Jessica and I have changed my blog background countless times in the two months since I've started it."
In my defence, I had finally found a background I liked with little birds...then I realized that it's Memorial Day and I wanted to be patriotic. Only, the only backgrounds I found were blatantly for the 4th of July. Now I'm just telling myself that I'm just really, really prepared for the next holiday. And patriotic.

On that note, Happy Memorial Day! K and I went to town this morning for the Memorial Day parade. This year the town recognized all the WWII vets in the area by inviting them to ride along in the parade. Then, we went to the cemetery for a Memorial Day service followed by a lunch. (Not in the cemetery, that would be strange! It was uptown at the Vet's club) K's grandpa was in the parade since he served in the air force. I couldn't help but think of both of my grandpa's who served...I wish I would have got to know more about what they did in the war before they passed.

In other news, I started my period yesterday. Arrrgh. Usually I have a build-up of slight cramping that leads me to realize the impending doom of my period starting. Actually, it's an agonizing wait as I try really hard to convince myself that no, I don't really feel cramping. But...I do. Anyway, this time it just started. And it was early. Which...is kinda nice. Don't get me wrong, I want to be pregnant. However, the agonizing wait between ovulation and my period is crazy long. 16 to 17 days my friends. This time the 2ww was literally that, two weeks. On to the next cycle. (Which will bring new doctors and hopefully answers)

You're going to read WHAT?!

The other day at school, I asked my co-teacher how her sister was doing. (Her sister also had a lap done and they found endo) She told me how her sis went to a woman who can read the eyes. This lady said that my co-teacher's sister had a weak tube and recommended some herbs for her to take.
Now, I'll be the first to admit that this all sounds a bit wacky. However! At this point I'm up for anything. So, I call this eye-reading herb lady and ask for an appointment. It turns out that she's book. Till January. Is she really that busy? I mean how many people go to get their eyes read? Apparently more that I'm aware of!
So, anyway. The reciptionist asks if I'd like to see another woman who specializes in reflexology and has worked with infertile people before. I say yes, but ask what the difference is between her and someone who reads the eyes. The kindly reciptionist says: "Well, an irdologist reads the eyes. A reflexologist reads the feet."
WHAT? Someone's going to tell me why I can't have babies by reading my feet? Certinally you must be joking. Right? You just want to make me laugh?
Ummm....nope. I looked it up online (because that's where the brillant minds share their lifetime of research and work) and it's true. So, I scheduled an appointment. At the moment I'm looking at this as an adventure.

Now, my friends...I have a certain problem with my feet. It wasn't enough that my baby toes are smooshed. Nope, in college I had a monster of an ingrown toenail. At least, that's what they claim was the problem. (It took a month to diagnose this) I had part of my toenail removed. This solved the problem for a while...until I was soaking in our (former) hottub. After a nice, leasurely soak I got out. My toe nail FELL OFF. I'm not kidding. I wish I was.
Fast forward to the present: my toe nail has grown back; however, it's slightly deformed and a bit yucky. Well, at least I think it is. Truth is...I keep toe nail polish on it at all times. So I can fool myself (and others) that I have a normal nail.
Why am I going into all this detail? I'm well aware that you didn't need to know this disgusting intimate detail about my toe. However...I would like you to sympathize with how I felt when I found out that I'll have to show my toe to this poor, unsuspecting foot-reader who's going to magically cure my infertility.

Date Night

Wow, so I went to log in and thought to myself..."Self, what's your password?" Yes, it has been an extremely long time since I've last wrote! I thoroughly recognize this and could make up many excuses: I just had conferences...I only have two weeks (WHOO HOO!!!) left with the kids and life's busy...but, the truth? I'm lazy. Yep, that and the fact that there's really not that much to write about.
So, K and I went to the movies last night. We had a hard time deciding what to do and when he said, so, are there any movies you want to see? I'm like, yes...there is one. Letters to Juliet. I had seen previews for it sometime (goodness knows when since we like never go to the movies and I fast forward through all commercials) and had a brief recollection that it *might* just be a chick-flick. I could have divulged this piece of information...but I didn't. Now, on K's part he also could have asked, "Hey, Jess, what is this movie all about?" But he didn't.
After dinner (at Bob Evan's which, surprisingly we both really like), we went to WalMart to get some contraband candy. We pick up the candy, pay for it and some other food for today, and begin to walk out the door. Then I'm all like, let's get some pop to drink! I have a big purse, we can totally sneak it in. So, K goes to the vending machine and pays the insanely high amount for a bottle of sprite*. Out pops a water. WHAT?? If I wanted water do you really think I'm going to pay $1.25 for a bottle of cancer water? No, I'm going to fill up my cool aluminium bottle and sneak that into my purse. I want Sprite!
We take it to the greeter (who was a bit grumpy) and he said we had to take it to the Customer Service. We do and she fixed the problem...until K asked if he could buy another bottle at the desk. Sure, she says..."That'll be $1.48." Note: for future reference it's cheaper to but a bottle out of the vending machine than it is to buy from the coolers in the store. At this point I'm like "Huh?? Why are you buying another bottle? I have a big purse, but after we stuff one 20oz bottle and the bag of Flipz in it it's not going all fit!" We end up leaving with one bottle of Sprite and Flipz and head towards the truck. I work on stuffing all the food into my purse and begin laughing at the sheer size and weight my purse has blossomed to be.
I'm not sure if you're aware...but I'm a real big stickler for following the rules. Seriously. It's kinda a curse. So, I walk two steps behind K as he goes to buy the tickets because I'm all like "What if they notice the bulging size of my purse? Did I hide the Sprite okay? Is the bag of Flipz sticking out the top?" Rationally, my purse doesn't look any bigger than other woman's purse...but it's really big for me. And heavy. And I'm sure I'm going to get caught. Then I see the sign: NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR BEVERAGES. Oh dear. Again, rationally...I knew this. That's why I'm sticking a bottle of pop and pretzels in my purse in the first place. But to see it in writing...stupid rules.
So, we purchase the tickets and then go to the girl who rips them in half and tells you which direction your theatre is. We walk up all smiley, K hands her our tickets, and she reads them.

Ticket wench: Aww....how sweet. Looks at K. You're going to have so much fun at this chick flick.

What I think is: Really? REALLY? Do you really need to make my husband feel stupid for coming to this movie with me?
What I say: (sarcastically I might add) Thanks, we will.

Ticket wench: Stares at us with a stupid smile on her face
Me: Where is our movie?
Ticket wench: Oh right. It's the fourth door on the left. Have fun!

Blargh. Oh well. The movie was pretty good and had beautiful scenery of Italy. The ending was kinda stupid...but overall I'd give it a 'B.'

Oh, and as for the Flipz and Sprite? We both felt a bit guilty hauling in contraband food and had like 10 flipz and didn't even open the Sprite!


*Sprite: I now have this irrational fear of drinking pop that is caffieinated. Why? No, I'm not pregnant...but I've read it might hinder my chances. See, it goes back to the following of rules thing!

So....I might be slightly obsessed with taking pictures of flowering trees and bushes this year. Wait, this obsession started in the winter when the 'freezing frost' blanketed the bare branches. Now I need to figure out what to do with all these beautiful pictures!

As for my ovulation mystery - I honestly have no clue what's going on right now! I had an abnormally long fertile quality CM (we're talking ten days) which apparently threw off the Fertility Friend website I use. As of today it says I ovulated 6 days ago. I'm going to take that with a grain of salt and not worry....because really, what can I do? I feel like this cycle is thrown off for some reason which, actually, is a bit releasing. It's almost as if I already know that there was no chance and I don't have to analyze every twinge or perceived symptom. We'll see!

Weddings, Hiking, and Ovulating, Oh My!

Last weekend K and I went to the wedding of my former co-teacher. She got married in Athens, OH under the blossoming cherry trees. It was so pretty and just so 'her.' When we left for the day we were unsure if we were going to spend the night; all the hotels in Athens had been booked months prior. However...as we were driving we thought how awesome it would be to wake up and go hiking in Hocking Hills. So, we found a hotel (quite awesome BTW...did you know Holiday Inn Express gives discounts to firefighters??), spent the night, and went hiking on Sunday.



I've decided that we need more spontaneous trips like this to remind us why we fell in love in the first place. We both have been so caught up in trying to make a baby (seriously, who knew it would be so hard??) that I think we need to do some new and different things.



So, my body has decided that it wasn't giving me enough excitement and has, as a result, thrown me for yet ANOTHER loop. Yes my friends, apparently it wasn't enough that I haven't conceived yet. Now, I have the delight of not ovulating?? This is a recent occurrence as normally I will ovulate between days 14-17 of my cycle. Well, now we are into day 23 (Yes, TWENTY THIRD day) and I haven't yet been able to confirm ovulation.
This delightful time (note the sarcasm) has led to *ahem* a lot of close time with K and almost seems like a comedy of errors at this point. Take last Monday for example:
Goes to restroom and discovers fertile-quality CM! Makes frantic, yet discrete, phone call to K while both are at lunch:
Me: Hi!
K: Hi.
Me: We have a date tonight.
K: Okay. Wait, what?
Me: A date. Don't make any plans.
K: What's going on?
Me: Remember...this morning....when I was really frustrated....
K: No...
Me: You know, remember?
K: With your temperature?
Me: Yes! Well, I'm not anymore.
K: Oh! Are you stretchy?
I will not go into more details!

Let's just hope this cycle isn't busted...

Welcome!

So, I've written quite a few lines and deleted them all...it's quite awkward writing this first blog post. I've read quite a few blogs in the past few months; most of which have the same theme: infertility. Yes, my friends this will (most likely) be a blog about this subject. Here's a bit of background about me:
I'm a twenty something teacher who is married to her best friend. We've been married for almost 2 years and have been trying to get pregnant for well over a year. K and I have always talked about having a big family and wanted to get started right away. After trying on our own for a little while (and charting my temps) I began to realize that something wasn't quite right. I went to my ob-gyn whose immediate response was "How about Clomid?" My response to that: "How about a new Dr.?" K was highly against any type of drugs at this point but we both felt that we wanted to figure out what was wrong before haphazardly putting something into my system. (LOL, I still think that K was afraid that having me on any type of drug would make me even more emotional than I already am!)
Fast forward a couple months and to a new Dr. I went. We shall call this lady: Dr. It's All In Your Head, or Dr. IAIYH for short. I felt Dr. IAIYH still thought I was a bit crazy ("You're so young...most people wait until they have been trying for a year...") but at least set up some basic tests for me. Thanks to these tests we discovered that my tubes were blocked. I must admit, when I discovered this I felt some validation. Instead of being sad that this was happening I realized that there really was something wrong with me. HA my Dr. friends. (Especially Dr. Clomid).
At this point Dr. IAIYH recommended me to a specialist who deals with infertility. Whoo hoo, now we're getting somewhere folks! A laparoscopy was scheduled as a way to see what was going on inside my body. Once they got in there it was discovered that I had endometriosis. They removed as much as they could find, sewed me up, and sent me on my way. "Okay, now you can try on your own for three months," said this Dr., "and if nothing happens come on back and we'll go to plan B."
Ugh, well...three months have passed and we have decided to go for plan C. Plan C seems to involve a more in-depth version of charting and a more natural route to conception...we're talking the Creighton method along with NaProtechnology for those of you in the know.
At this point, both K and I are dealing with the emotional questions and feelings associated with infertility. It's been quite a journey so far; each month has been filled with hope and then quickly followed by sadness. All we can do right now is put all of our trust in God and know that he is leading us down the path he has chosen for us.

Well, how was that for a first post? Good grief...lol.